Just some foster humor :)

27 Oct

The crazy life of a dog foster:

Some of the delightful situations that occur at my house.

 

Chase, my 80 pound pitbull mix occasionally gets jealous of the fosters (who are we kidding, ALWAYS gets jealous) and frequently sits on their heads.

If Chase is not sitting on a foster dog’s head he sits on the couch opposite of me, stares at me and sighs repeatedly.

Very few of my fosters were potty trained coming in to my house.  Waking up to my husband who has just stepped in poo is a real treat.  (Why doesn’t he look where he’s going?!)

I have started keeping a collection of dog hair.  Not because I WANT to be a collector, but because if I want to do anything with my life other than vacuum 24-7 it’s necessary to ignore the hair and watch as the clumps begin to sprout heads and legs.  I’m pretty sure I’m growing new dogs in the corners of my house. They will come alive at some point, I’m sure.   

Getting pizza delivered to our house has become a comedy routine (for people watching, not for me).  First, three dogs begin barking, growling and howling.  They then head to the front door at 40 mph knocking over anything in their paths (people included).  I try to tell Mr. Pizza Delivery Boy through the door (and the barking) that it will be “JUST A MINUTE!!” I shove random dogs in miscellaneous kennels trying to remember that Mylo goes in the top one, the foster has to go BACK to their crate in the living room, and Chase’s door has to be COMPLETELY shut.  THEN I get to open the door and collect my pizza, which is inevitably cold.  I also get laughed at by Mr. Pizza Delivery Boy.

When you have three dogs it is “100% guaranteed or your money back” (you won’t get any money though- this is animal rescue silly) that they will never agree on whether they want to be inside or outside.  One dog will ask to go outside, so I shuffle all three outside.  5 seconds later (usually right when I get back to my comfy spot on the couch) one of the dogs that DIDN’T want to go outside will start barking.  The dog that doesn’t want to be outside right NOW, will want to be outside in 20 minutes.  They all rotate being the jerk that didn’t pee when they were outside 20 minutes ago, so it never ends.

Once we sit down on the couch we need to be prepared to have no use of our arms.

Make sure NEVER TO BUMP THE LEASHES, unless you are prepared to take a walk, and if YOU can leash-walk three large dogs at one time I would like to borrow your spare arm and your automatic brakes, please.

My dogs created a new rule: “If the foster chewed on it we get to too!”

Occasionally a foster dog learns how to get on the bed (this involves using a bench as a stair, which is surprisingly hard for dogs to figure out).  This is “time to find it a new home”-The husband.

Our vocabulary seems to only include the phrases: “Get down.” “Go outside?” “Go potty.” “Down.  Down.  DOWN!!.” “Sit.  Longer than that.”  “You want to eat?” “Don’t sit on him/her!” “Mylo, chill.”  “Chase, stop being jealous.”  

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5 Responses to “Just some foster humor :)”

  1. whencrazymeetsexhaustion October 31, 2012 at 6:28 pm #

    I think the only difference between real kids and dog kids is the kennel thing. Society frowns upon crating humans for a trip to the grocery store. That kind of judgement is quite inconvenient. 🙂 I love your puppies, by the way!! I have a half black lab, half pitt (a Hurricane Katrina rescue), and she’s the most snuggly girl in the house!

  2. And Foster Makes 5 November 10, 2012 at 9:03 am #

    Literally laughing out loud! LOVE this… we might have to do our own version one day soon. My favorite was either the hair collector, or the requests to go outside. Probably because I can SO relate!

  3. Marcela November 16, 2012 at 1:18 pm #

    Lol. Excellent and funny post.

  4. Laura Bruner December 20, 2012 at 9:05 pm #

    Oh this is so awesome because it is so true! I love it! In my house, I totally have to not touch the leashes or collars as well. One little jingle and I have a crazy foxhound on my hands!

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